I'm disturbed by your comment that your "master" makes such good lemonade. At least someone is making your lemonade FOR you...you're on the right track there...but...and this but is even bigger than MY butt... listen up, my friend...cuz I'm only going to tell you once.... As an animal...we do not have masters, we have servants. The quality of our lives is based entirely on our ability to train our humans to do what we want them to do.
Do you think I'm really a slob? Noooooooooo....I lay here like a lump because by doing so I get my meals served to me in fancy bowls, some of which Mommy painted just for me at the pottery place. By occasionally missing the litterbox, I get my butt massaged with these little moist cloths that smell soooooooo good. My adoring Mommy feels so sorry for me that she massages me daily and tells me how pretty I am. None of the other cats around here who are taking care of themselves get that kind of service. (Well...Herbie knows a few tricks, and he's got Mommy catering to his every need, too!...it's quite pathetic).
So anyway, Mickster...since you're a dog, let's use another example. Dogs act badly. What's the punishment for behaving badly? Obedience class! So really, let's see how "bad" this really is for a dog. What do you get...? A ride in the car to the class. What dog doesn't love a ride in the car? Next...you get to meet and talk to some other dogs. That's not so bad. Then...just for doing a few stupid sit/stay tricks...you get fed all sorts of snacks and treats and get told what a good doggy you are in front of an audience. Then you get another ride in the car! Bonus!
Cats are too sophisticated to do tricks for snacks. I live with beagles, so out of pity for all the times my snacks get stolen, Mommy places my treats right in front of my nose and then she stands guard until I'm done so I don't get robbed.
I hope you've taken notes, Mickey...and will stop referring to your people as your masters. A Master is a degree you get in college, or a brand of lock you buy to keep the beagles out of your house, not the human you have trained to take care of you...which, in your case, is a teenager with smelly toes.
Feel free to contact me at any time for additional support. You know where to find me...right here, in my house, perched up on my super squishy, ultra fluffy bed that my servant made for me.
XOXO
Kinzi
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Hi there Kinzi - you are so right about cats having servants and not masters. I am the servant to three smart cats and I love them all very much but they pretty much rule the household. Sunny - my big orange and white tabby is ready to get in some big trouble. He has torn up 3 rolls of toilet paper this week Grrrrr. What can I do Kinzi to make him stop that - Got any ideas? You really let the Mickster know how it is - You are such a sweetie. You really know how it is don't you. You are a very smart kitty girl.
ReplyDeleteLove you
Sandy/Fluff
Hey, I'm not bad, and he is my master because he loves and cares for me and teaches me how to listen and become an adult dog (yeah right, he proof read the post first to make sure I wasn't embarrassing him, but now I can tell you a secret. Yeah I only call my dad master because it gives me a lot more attention and treats). Oh, and I do know a cat that can do tricks for treats and that is Hercules (but he is really mean to me). AAAANNNNDDDD STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS SMELLY TOES!!!!!!!! THEY SMELL DELICIOUS TO ME AND LAST TIME YOU MENTIONED IT I DIDN'T GET ANY ATTENTION FOR A WHOLE WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!! So stop being so mean to my "master" and start drinking his lemonade!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete*sigh*...only a dog would think smelly toes are delicious.
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